If only time could stop...................

The count down has begun, and I need it to stop counting.  My fun here at home full time is winding down,  just a month left.  How is that possible?  Yes I'm so fortunate,  it's still a month left.  But how has two months already passed?  Oh wait,  it's passed with trains, trucks, playing in beans with tractors, the consumption of chicken sausages and almonds and lots of holding, wearing and cuddling this little girl and her big brother.  Who can go from being so little to so so so big, in a matter of minutes.

It's not uncommon for people to say that they don't want to go back to work, or that they aren't looking forward to it.  What is unexpected is for ME to be thinking and truly feeling that I am not looking forward to it.  How will I juggle the two - work and parenthood?  Or rather juggle it well?  I'll be the first to admit that I am not the dedicated professional I was three years ago.  I was figuratively punching a clock last year with just Captain Underpants at home,  now with two darlings?  Will I ever read a professional journal again?  Or rather WANT to read one,  Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel is far more interesting.  The audience is at least.  Will I come home and still have enough in the reserve to not get into power struggles with this two  year old how is becoming overly independent?

Can you tell I'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment?  A nap is in order, or a crystal ball.  Will I be a good mommy to two like I was to only one at home?
Yes,  because I want to be, and I can be.

Remember what is important and what can be let go of.
Keep your eyes on the prize!
And for every minutes of unhappiness you lose 60 seconds of happiness.

Today and yesterday

Me:  "What are you doing?"
S:  "Simon waterskiing."
Me:  "You're what?"
S: "Simon waterskiing with vacuum cleaner.  Mamma, get ski pants for waterskiing."

The things that happen throughout the day.

Waterskiing with the vacuum cleaner chord. 
      Me:  "What are you doing?"
      S: "I waterskiing, momma want turn?"

Pretending to nurse a muppet.  
      S: "Momma, Ernie want to nurse."
      Me:  "Ahh, okay"
      S:  "no momma,  no pretend, NURSE Ernie."

Rapid cleaning of a bedroom.
     S:  "I jump" (off a cubicle bookcase that lays flat on the floor)
     Me:  "Let's not jump, it's messy here.  We can jump later."
     S:  "clean up now,  I do it."

Right now

Sitting here in the rain, listening to a baby breathe.  Another babe is napping and a cup of tea is waiting for me.  Boy wonder is waking up, quiet time is over.

Dear 20 something old self,

Today I have been thinking about you often.  There are somethings I wish you could have known, could have seen coming that would have made a difference in your life.  

 *  All those times you were sure that big fun was going on and you weren't part of it - just sit back and enjoy the quiet.  The quiet will end, the ginormous fun is coming - in the form of silliness and ridiculousness involving dancing, dump trucks and Grover the likes of which you can't imagine.  

* Stop worrying about your social life, and friends.  You already know two of your best friends, they happen to be your parents, and live with two of the best people in the world.  You're going to meet three other spectacular people and share your life with them, with never a dull moment.

* There will be a time when you get such little sleep you feel sick, and look worse and aren't even able to recognize that you are tired.  Enjoy it while it lasts!!

As I think about you today, and how you evolved into this life I lead now,  I just had to sit back and smile.  For as different as life has become, it's still very similar.  You used to push yourself hard until you drop.  You now are involved in a marathon of a different kind involving pushing through while exhausted.  I loved your life at 20,  but I have to tell you that life in your 30's far exceeds and I'm pretty sure life in your 40's with this crew you have acquired will be even better.

Love,

Your 30 something old self

A picture a day.

Let me introduce you,

Well,  we've been a little occupied, and Miss Annabelle Teran is the reason.

Mr. S is proving to be a great big brother.  We sang "happy dirthday to sista" tonight, not completely sure why, but we all went along for the chorus.  Followed by a Johnny Cash classic involving Bumpy, Daddy and Momma.   Little Miss Annabelle is proving to be a trooper,  she sleeps through brother's inspections of "two ears,  a tongue and little tiny pingers".  We're doing pretty good for the change in sleep patterns that have taken place.

Productivity people!!!!

We returned yesterday from 12 days in northern Maine,  Mr. S and I for that long anyway.  I'm very proud of myself as well.  I have completed, finished, finalized, any other synonym we can come up with, 5 sweaters and just waiting on putting in a zipper to a 6th.  Three for baby and 2 for Mr. S. The bonus is I'm motivated to put the zipper in as well.  Plus while I was there,  I've got 90% of another sweater for Pud finished.  And I completed two little baby socks.  Can you believe it?  Even better, I purchased and placed the buttons on the same day.  I do believe that is a miracle.  But with 7 more weeks until this baby is suppose to appear, I guess it was time to make the poor soul a sweater.

Vacation was nice, the weather cooperated very nicely, given the reports I received about the wet season they have been plagued with.  Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves we all got along, which when considering family pressed into tight quarters for at least a week, that's an accomplishment as well.   Bumpy seemed to enjoy all his grandchild!

Daddy's day.

I think I enjoyed Daddy's day more than Daddy.  It was amazing to sit back and observe the two men in my life interact.  I've worked primarily with 3 and 4 year old boys for the last 10 years, but I don't have the flare that daddy does.  I try to get excited about scooping and dumping,  actually I DO get excited.  I try to think of new fun ways to get a material from point A to point B.  Personally,  most are happy to interact with me on a daily basis, my own son included.  But man,  add Daddy to mix and this mommy has a bit of a tarnish on her play skills.  And truly,  I'm perfectly happy to step aside and watch the magic at work.  It's pretty amazing, on both parts.  Maybe it's because when either one of those boys is shedding their love and affection on me, I'm to close to the action to see it at work,  but to witness them give to each other is something.  I won't say that I love being a mommy or even a wife, but I do love being that boy's mommy and that man's wife.  It's a nice place to be.

Living in the moment.

    Super Pud August 2010 crawling around a tent.

Super Pud May 2011, doing yard work.                      

It's only Tuesday, and I found myself flabbergasted that it was ONLY Tuesday today.  How could that be?  Are there truly 3 more wake-up and get dressed days this week?  I'm going to think of 3 more outfits to squeeze into?  It's three whole days until I can lie in bed with Super Pud and leisurely read books as long as we want? Seriously?
Then I had a thought,  time is going by too fast,  there just can't be any hurrying, so stop complaining.  It's already June, I haven't seen dear friends since February.  How did that happen?  I went over a year before I saw another couple of dear friends.  My little baby has evolved before my eyes into this boy who shouts directions from the back seat regarding his preferred music choices, the best route home and how loud the volume to the radio should be.  He now calls himself "big guy", as well as his father.  I looked at my wonderful husband the other day and realized I've known him for 6 years,  we didn't JUST meet a few years ago.
So this afternoon I relaxed,  we drew on the blacktop with chalk, and I let him get covered in a sort of red chalk coating that won't wash off, but sure stains the couch.  We sat on the floor and played "excavator" and ate too many strawberries and grapes before dinner.  We did some other "multi-media" things that some might pass judgement on me for so I'll leave those out for now, then we sat and read books and jumped until it was bedtime.  He won't remember tonight for very long, but I will, and even though I still miss the friend I've neglected without intent, and I still have 3 more outfits for the week to manage myself into,  I was present in the moment.  At this point,  that's where I need to be.

The news!

So here is the newest addition to the family.  We have no idea if it's a boy or a girl, but the child has everything it's suppose to have and has started moving this week.  I had started knitting it, it's first piece of clothing dedicated just to it and not a hand-me-down from big brother.  Had being the main focus of that sentence.  Somehow I have messed up the marker placement, and botched my 5th BSJ.  It's never happened before and I don't know what I was thinking, so it's been ripped out and will be started again this weekend.

journaling, or is it journalling?

Either way,  this particular individual isn't so hot at it.  The idea of it thrills me,  I have traveled around the country with journal in hand, and when the journey ends,  been very upset that  I didn't write a thing down.  So here I find myself again,  only this time regarding this blog.  I am very haphazard with it.  The funny thing that occurs to me is when I have the time to sit and write, life has been pretty mundane and everyday. When great things come up,  the pace runs so fast and the crash to follow happens so quickly, it's days before I get to this here blog.  According to NPR,  my son's generation will not have a legacy to refer to.  We don't write letters, keep written journals or even photo albums and movie collections any more.  Everything is stored on our hard drives and needs accessing with a password.  What about our blogs though?  Will they stand the test of time?  How long will they last and who will be reading them in the distant future?  Who knows............

Unrelated to that topic,  we had an interesting conversation in this house yesterday.
"Mama, play?",  "Sure I'll play with you, what shall we play?".
"Mama play laundry?" ?????????????
 "You want to play laundry?"
"Okay."
So playing laundry ensued.  I guess I spend a bit of time sitting with him doing laundry, because he promptly started taking the laundry out of the basket,  holding it up, wiggling it around and putting it down on the floor.  REPEATEDLY.  This my dear friends is how my son perceives his mother, a lunatic who takes things out of baskets wiggles them and then puts them down.  Enough said.

Busy winter

Man, this has been a busy winter.  That being said,  there is very little to show for it.  Somehow the months have past quickly, but the actual days seem to take a bit longer to get through.

Time is a very strange concept, and when you are as calendar challenged as I am,  it becomes a VERY strange concept.  I truly hope that my children do not inherit that bit of genetic make-up from mother.  Let's hope for daddy's promptness and diligent list writing.

Brother had a wedding a few months ago as well.  That was a nice celebration and mini-vacation for the entire family.  It went off without a hitch and Simon was the best man.

There isn't a whole lot more to report on, I believe that we have had an entire week since January 1st without a runny nose or cough, on the boy or mommy end of things.

Spring is coming, it must be coming.  We're ready for it to get here.

I have been knitting, I promise.

The knitting realm hasn't been my friend lately.  Between necessary work to complete,  trying to get through an online continuing education course that puts me to sleep and simply beginning to feel more my age than ever before, I haven't been knitting by my old standards.  It's disappointing because I still have the same excitement to cast on new projects at the old rapid pace, yarn still calls my name from the depths of my computer and well you understand.  To be honest everything physical around me is being neglected lately, the house needs my attention, a need to exercise is obvious, and I've come to a complete standstill with my ability to come up with exciting ideas for dinner.  But something has dawned on me this weekend.  I have been knitting.  There are two completely knit small boy sweaters needs to be sewn up.  They are folder very nicely waiting my attention, plus there is a knit lace shawl awaiting blocking.  I have been knitting - just not finishing.  Side note:  the sweaters are two sizes bigger than Mr. S, so the urgency to complete them isn't going to hit for a bit.

For another soap box moment, I have been knitting since 1995.  I basically ran to my mother after my first professional teacher workshop day because I couldn't sit still and begged her to teach me so I wouldn't lose my job based on bad behavior.  She was patient that weekend and taught me knitting and purling and sent me on my way.  I ran to a yarn shop and bought enough yarn to make a sweater, (why start small?) and went from there.  Until yesterday I had never knit a dishcloth.  I decided that we needed a new one and bit the bullet and started.  I have to admit that that "little" project had me completely confused in a way I have not been in years of knitting.  A simple dishcloth kicked my butt.  It's finished now,  and the reports from the kitchen are........ and I must agree,  it's as big as a baby blanket when wet.  I have basically knit a dish towel. Ugghhhh!