Monday, December 5, 2011

If only time could stop...................

The count down has begun, and I need it to stop counting.  My fun here at home full time is winding down,  just a month left.  How is that possible?  Yes I'm so fortunate,  it's still a month left.  But how has two months already passed?  Oh wait,  it's passed with trains, trucks, playing in beans with tractors, the consumption of chicken sausages and almonds and lots of holding, wearing and cuddling this little girl and her big brother.  Who can go from being so little to so so so big, in a matter of minutes.

It's not uncommon for people to say that they don't want to go back to work, or that they aren't looking forward to it.  What is unexpected is for ME to be thinking and truly feeling that I am not looking forward to it.  How will I juggle the two - work and parenthood?  Or rather juggle it well?  I'll be the first to admit that I am not the dedicated professional I was three years ago.  I was figuratively punching a clock last year with just Captain Underpants at home,  now with two darlings?  Will I ever read a professional journal again?  Or rather WANT to read one,  Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel is far more interesting.  The audience is at least.  Will I come home and still have enough in the reserve to not get into power struggles with this two  year old how is becoming overly independent?

Can you tell I'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment?  A nap is in order, or a crystal ball.  Will I be a good mommy to two like I was to only one at home?
Yes,  because I want to be, and I can be.

Remember what is important and what can be let go of.
Keep your eyes on the prize!
And for every minutes of unhappiness you lose 60 seconds of happiness.

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