We can do this........right?

Some days pose more challenges than others.  There are moments when it's obvious as to why that is, and then at other times it's completely unapparent as to what is going on and why.  Thursday was one of those days.  The fatigue, sluggishness, and overall irritability didn't make a lot of sense given that it was a snow day.  However,  Friday morning brought the answer - a head cold.  Fantastic, welcome cold and flu season, here we go.  And two days later, three out of four of us were in the "same bucket together" (I know it's wrong, but I'm know for that).

If only time could stop...................

The count down has begun, and I need it to stop counting.  My fun here at home full time is winding down,  just a month left.  How is that possible?  Yes I'm so fortunate,  it's still a month left.  But how has two months already passed?  Oh wait,  it's passed with trains, trucks, playing in beans with tractors, the consumption of chicken sausages and almonds and lots of holding, wearing and cuddling this little girl and her big brother.  Who can go from being so little to so so so big, in a matter of minutes.

It's not uncommon for people to say that they don't want to go back to work, or that they aren't looking forward to it.  What is unexpected is for ME to be thinking and truly feeling that I am not looking forward to it.  How will I juggle the two - work and parenthood?  Or rather juggle it well?  I'll be the first to admit that I am not the dedicated professional I was three years ago.  I was figuratively punching a clock last year with just Captain Underpants at home,  now with two darlings?  Will I ever read a professional journal again?  Or rather WANT to read one,  Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel is far more interesting.  The audience is at least.  Will I come home and still have enough in the reserve to not get into power struggles with this two  year old how is becoming overly independent?

Can you tell I'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment?  A nap is in order, or a crystal ball.  Will I be a good mommy to two like I was to only one at home?
Yes,  because I want to be, and I can be.

Remember what is important and what can be let go of.
Keep your eyes on the prize!
And for every minutes of unhappiness you lose 60 seconds of happiness.

Today and yesterday

Me:  "What are you doing?"
S:  "Simon waterskiing."
Me:  "You're what?"
S: "Simon waterskiing with vacuum cleaner.  Mamma, get ski pants for waterskiing."

The things that happen throughout the day.

Waterskiing with the vacuum cleaner chord. 
      Me:  "What are you doing?"
      S: "I waterskiing, momma want turn?"

Pretending to nurse a muppet.  
      S: "Momma, Ernie want to nurse."
      Me:  "Ahh, okay"
      S:  "no momma,  no pretend, NURSE Ernie."

Rapid cleaning of a bedroom.
     S:  "I jump" (off a cubicle bookcase that lays flat on the floor)
     Me:  "Let's not jump, it's messy here.  We can jump later."
     S:  "clean up now,  I do it."

Right now

Sitting here in the rain, listening to a baby breathe.  Another babe is napping and a cup of tea is waiting for me.  Boy wonder is waking up, quiet time is over.

Dear 20 something old self,

Today I have been thinking about you often.  There are somethings I wish you could have known, could have seen coming that would have made a difference in your life.  

 *  All those times you were sure that big fun was going on and you weren't part of it - just sit back and enjoy the quiet.  The quiet will end, the ginormous fun is coming - in the form of silliness and ridiculousness involving dancing, dump trucks and Grover the likes of which you can't imagine.  

* Stop worrying about your social life, and friends.  You already know two of your best friends, they happen to be your parents, and live with two of the best people in the world.  You're going to meet three other spectacular people and share your life with them, with never a dull moment.

* There will be a time when you get such little sleep you feel sick, and look worse and aren't even able to recognize that you are tired.  Enjoy it while it lasts!!

As I think about you today, and how you evolved into this life I lead now,  I just had to sit back and smile.  For as different as life has become, it's still very similar.  You used to push yourself hard until you drop.  You now are involved in a marathon of a different kind involving pushing through while exhausted.  I loved your life at 20,  but I have to tell you that life in your 30's far exceeds and I'm pretty sure life in your 40's with this crew you have acquired will be even better.

Love,

Your 30 something old self

A picture a day.