Obsessions

As a person with an addictive personality,  any chemical more potent than tequila or those silly cigarettes was not an option during my college years.  Knowing that fact about myself might have saved my life, or just made things harder for myself,  I probably should have shied away from the tequila.  That would have made things simpler as well.
So now here I am in my late 30's.  That's the first time I've written that down.  Yikes!  37 is closer to 40 than 30 isn't it?  Oh well, for anyone who is about to comment on that,  the 30's have been so much better than the 20's, so I'm almost excited for the 40's.  Plus I'm already grey so who cares.  Anyway, off the tangent,  I'm in my...(we just covered that, move on) and the addictions have just changed that's all,  it's yarn, and my it's all consuming.  Here I sit with 20 minutes to myself and I just want to go through my stash.  The house is literally falling into itself it's so cluttered and dirty, but it's the bins of yarn I want, the pattern potentials, the possibilities.  There are empty needles that need to be filled.  I will never get a FO out of any of the things cast on at the current moment, so who cares.  Let's just keep at it.  It's the potential that is exciting!

Happy Birthday Big Baby!!!

It's Big Pud's birthday.  He's a year old, a whole year old.  Man, the things he has learned in only one year. To bad there isn't a way to bottle that and and keep that going for years.  I knew that he'd be fun, but I had no idea that it would be this much fun.  Honestly if I'd known, I might have done this a bit early.  That being said, it's a good thing I waited because I was able to get a lot of things done and it's been a year since I had decent sleep!

I don't remember a lot of last summer but I'm pretty excited for the rest of them!

Summer vacation..............

As a child, summer vacation meant the lake.  That was pretty much it.  Before moving to Maine,  our family vacations were at the lake, then when we actually lived there, as soon as school was out we'd move to the camp and live there until school went back in.  In college though, life kicked in.  There were summer jobs away,  friends to visit, other parts of the country to see, tourist towns to live and work in.  I can say that I've had the opportunity to live in some of the most beautiful places in Maine and New Hampshire, and because of this over the past 15 years I've spent very little time at the lake.  Funny how as you get older you begin to appreciate quiet and solitude.  I feel like I've had the first REAL summer vacation in years thanks to the lake.  And as you can tell from the picture,  everybody relaxes at camp :)

In knitting related news,  summer vacation has meant some quality knitting time.  I'll post pictures when I small man isn't crying.

Full on mommy mode............

So another school year has passed, and a very eventful one at that.  It started out slowly, thank goodness.  But by the time February rolled around, it was full swing preschool craziness.  Some people ARE what they do.  We all know of, it not know,  someone who is.  These people remain excited, committed, almost single minded, with their job also being their hobby.  At times I wish I was more like that, I always think of extra things I'd like to do for work, but then the reality of life (aka laundry and dishes) or even my desire to sit down to knit and watch a favorite show (Glee, this week).  But I do truly love my job, I'm very fortunate and wouldn't want it any other way.  Don't get me wrong, there are days when I don't want to be there as much I should, but when you get to think about your day in terms like "play" "circle" "snack" "outside", it's fairly easy to get over yourself and enjoy the day.

But here I am on summer vacation, and I love it!  It is also only two weeks long before I go back to work part time, which makes it all the sweeter.  As the week has evolved I've had to remind myself to let some things go,  it began with this feeling that since I was home I should be accomplishing things.  I was soon to learn that my opinion of what was suppose to be accomplished in the course of a day is not what my son thinks should be accomplished.  In three days he has had a total of 90 minutes of napping at home, seems he doesn't nap so well for mommy.  He's learned to crawl at a runny pace, and to pull himself up to everything.  His dancing skills have improved daily as well!  He can do more than just wiggle his diaper,  he's got arm movements involved now too.  I've never worked so hard and had such fun in my life, but man,  I could use a nap!

Happy Mother's Day

It's very strange to think about where I was a year ago - for one thing I was getting a LOT more sleep, (I am actually smiling as I type that) and I had a concept in my head about what was going to happen and what life would be like.  That being said,  I had no freaking idea!

I love this little man, and I have never worked harder in my life, been more tired, had a more demanding boss or ridden a bigger emotional roller coaster.   He makes the toughest job I've even done seem like a cake walk.  Everyone told me these things, but prior to him, all I've had to compare IS the hardest, toughest thing I've ever done.  And true to form, I've never loved anyone so unconditionally or had such a bright spot in my day as this little guy.  If someone can wake you up three times between two am and six am,  and you are still happy to see them, it's got to be love, don't you think?  Thank you Daddy and Puddin'.  You are tons of fun and I love you both very much.

Knitting again!

I have two finished projects,  one finished long ago, well three months ago.  But truly wouldn't you rather I wear my new socks than just photograph them and blog about the experience.  I mean even I love a good handknit sock, but I don't want to read about them that often, how can you?

I also have finished a personal triumph.  It has taken me about a year and a half, with many different mistakes and ripping it out at least three times, but I am happy to say that I have a vest as part of my wardrobe that I was able to actually wear before it was too hot outside (it actually WAS to hot outside, but I refused to admit it, twice).  Whew that was a long run on sentence.   It doesn't look that spectacular here, but I do like it - though it doesn't look that spectacular on either.  The post-pregnant body doesn't thrill me with it but the yarn is pretty.  And I started running so hopefully things will begin to fit better.

What a beautiful day!

Yes, it's a very simple title, but you can't sum up this weekend any better way.  March,  it's such a strange month - I struggle with it every year.  It signifies the end of a fun winter and winter activities, but the beginning of warm weather and even more fun.  I will say that this year I am completely fine with the end of winter - probably because my participation in winter activities was sub-par.  I did not get the kites out off the shelf, the telemark skis have not seen their friends, the telemark ski-boots and the poor snowboard only had two conversations with the snowboard boots this winter.  So considering the Clarkshornes of winters past we have done NOTHING.  That being said,  there was little snow, lots of rain and it was very mild temperature wise, plus I haven't gotten the best sleep this winter.  All extra energy has gone into being able to stand up straight some days.

That being said, I'm not in a hurry for winter to be over,  I'd take another snowstorm so we could use the sled again or be locked in for a snow day, but not too many.  I'm working at just being present for today,  and tomorrow I'll enjoy then.  On one level the days go by so slowly- like on Monday thinking about when Friday will come, but  then on weekends the days fly and I could begin to panic about how quickly they ended.  I need to stop and breathe and take them as they come.  So "what a beautiful day" we have here.  I think I'll go get the crazy baby out of bed and take him out to see the world!