Summer is here.  There isn't a hole lot to show for it so far,  just a 12 day trip to Gramma and Grandan's.  Actually that trip might have done us in for the summer,  I certainly hope not.  There's much fun to be had!

After an epic snow storm, I found myself reliving my own childhood memories and wondering what these two will have for memories of winter.  The memories of snowbanks higher then cars and huge mountains that were impossible to climb,  coupled with it being so cold you're nostril hairs would freeze, came flooding back to me.  Yes, I live five hours south of where these memories came from; however last weekend we had two feet of snow dropped upon us in a 24 hour period and today we might have six inches on the ground.  Last winter it snowed once, which was very disappointing for a young lad of two.  Though this winter's snowfall has been far better, the temperatures have been so warm, the snow melts away within days of arrival.  Winter can be long, dark and isolating with it's coldness and shortened days,  but adding snow just makes it fun and wonderful.  I sincerely hope my children are able enjoy the spoils of winter as I was.  They sure appreciate what they have been introduced to so far!

She isn't very tall, but man,  she packs some punch!  Opinions, silliness and curious all in one go.  She's becoming quite the little lady.  Don't even think about taking off her new jacket or shoes.  It won't go well.

The subject of this blog is usually the little man in the foreground,  and rarely the bigger version in the background.  This week, be it that Valentine's Day just pasted, I'm getting older and more reflective, or being laid out flat with the stomach bug two different times over the past four weeks,  I've been thinking a lot about him and what having him in my life truly means to me.  

We bicker, argue, annoy and sometimes truly grate on each others nerves.  The best part about all of those things is that once we actually admit it to each other, we seem to feel better and move past it immediately.  I've realized over the past few months of being stretched thin, exhausted and pushed physically beyond my capabilities that even then he still makes me laugh and smile.  We crack each other up with the silliest of statements, and can make fun of ourselves and each other without being resentful.  I've lost it with him on more than one occasion, and if I could take it all back I would.    I'm sitting here happy that he's out being social and having fun with friends  (I'm sure that is a bit of story swapping going on about pestering wives or the like) but I miss him and am looking forward to him coming home so I can tell him that.

My definition of what it means to be a mom has expanded with children in my life, but my understanding about my part of this husband and wife combo has just busted wide open over the past two and half years.  I could gush over all of his wonderful qualities, but the one that continues to amaze me is how he so willingly is able to step and keep this ship from sinking regardless of the timing or situation.  I have no idea how he is able to do it, but I can't express to him enough how much it means to me or how much I love him for it.

We can do this........right?

Some days pose more challenges than others.  There are moments when it's obvious as to why that is, and then at other times it's completely unapparent as to what is going on and why.  Thursday was one of those days.  The fatigue, sluggishness, and overall irritability didn't make a lot of sense given that it was a snow day.  However,  Friday morning brought the answer - a head cold.  Fantastic, welcome cold and flu season, here we go.  And two days later, three out of four of us were in the "same bucket together" (I know it's wrong, but I'm know for that).

If only time could stop...................

The count down has begun, and I need it to stop counting.  My fun here at home full time is winding down,  just a month left.  How is that possible?  Yes I'm so fortunate,  it's still a month left.  But how has two months already passed?  Oh wait,  it's passed with trains, trucks, playing in beans with tractors, the consumption of chicken sausages and almonds and lots of holding, wearing and cuddling this little girl and her big brother.  Who can go from being so little to so so so big, in a matter of minutes.

It's not uncommon for people to say that they don't want to go back to work, or that they aren't looking forward to it.  What is unexpected is for ME to be thinking and truly feeling that I am not looking forward to it.  How will I juggle the two - work and parenthood?  Or rather juggle it well?  I'll be the first to admit that I am not the dedicated professional I was three years ago.  I was figuratively punching a clock last year with just Captain Underpants at home,  now with two darlings?  Will I ever read a professional journal again?  Or rather WANT to read one,  Mike Mulligan and His Steam Shovel is far more interesting.  The audience is at least.  Will I come home and still have enough in the reserve to not get into power struggles with this two  year old how is becoming overly independent?

Can you tell I'm a bit overwhelmed at the moment?  A nap is in order, or a crystal ball.  Will I be a good mommy to two like I was to only one at home?
Yes,  because I want to be, and I can be.

Remember what is important and what can be let go of.
Keep your eyes on the prize!
And for every minutes of unhappiness you lose 60 seconds of happiness.

Today and yesterday

Me:  "What are you doing?"
S:  "Simon waterskiing."
Me:  "You're what?"
S: "Simon waterskiing with vacuum cleaner.  Mamma, get ski pants for waterskiing."